So many emotions

I'm rounding the bend, the end is in sight. Hard to believe this journey is rapidly coming to an end. When I started back to school 4 1/2 years ago, it seemed so far away. Now my countdown is nearing the final days. It's an interesting set of emotions I am encountering as I get closer to completing this chapter in my life. I am really looking forward to having a life that does not involve busy busy all day and study all night. It is draining and exhausting and guilt inducing because I never feel like there is enough time for my family. I love learning and have a sincere desire to learn as much as I can while in school. I know that when I'm done I won't have a requirement put on me to attend special lectures and read text books and scientific journals. It will be hard to find the time to make those things a priority when I won't have someone grading my performance. I hope that I will continue to want to learn everything about my field and keep up with all the latest research.

I recently took the Praxis and on the day of the test I was quite emotional. This exam has been the big exam looming over our heads since we first learned there was such a thing way back in undergrad. When the day finally arrived, I knew I had finally arrived. All those who I placed on a pedestal and thought surely I would never know enough to pass such a comprehensive examination represented where I finally had arrived. I was now taking that test, demonstrating what I had learned. This was a big day, a big accomplishment. And I did it. I took the test, I passed and now I'm in the group I had once looked upon with such awe. I am so proud that I have come so far, that I've done this with my family right beside me. We did this together because it took great sacrifice on everyone's part. I know it was so much more difficult going to graduate school with kids at home. But I think that I have appreciated it all the more because it has not been easy. I have also had the opportunity to be on the receiving end of so much service and love. I don't think I really understood how wonderful the people in my life are. I have some of the best friends in the world. So many people who have helped me to accomplish my goals. I will never be able to repay them, but I hope it will make me a more compassionate and charitable person. I hope I am able to help others the way I have been helped. What an incredible journey. The countdown is nearing the end. I am both sad and anxious to see what lies around the next corner.